Group dinners

This year's group has really gotten into the group meals.  Whether it is at a restaurant, or our potlucks, they are always game to try new things (octopus, goat, and snails on day 1!) and to share with each other.  

A common way of eating in Greece is to order for the table and have everyone share.  It is uncomfortable for most Americans used to choosing their own meal because it means that you end up having only a little of what you wanted and have to try what others chose as well, and then at the end, the final discomfort, you have to split a big check.  Splitting a check seems very uncomfortable for many Americans used to getting the restaurant to do it for them... but there is no easy way for anyone with this type of eating.

And yet, for me, all of those things are exactly what I love about eating this way.  

• I love trying new things, and this way I can order a favorite, but also get to try something new, often things I never would have chosen to order myself.  I've learned to like a lot of foods this way, because someone else likes them and orders them frequently.
• I am saved from my fear of commitment:   I don't like to be pinned down to just one dish, and this way I get lots of things to taste in one meal.  
• I love the negotiation.  You have to talk to others, to learn what they like or don't which creates intimacy.  You also have to improve communication skills and face the awkwardness of making clear your own preferences without dominating the ordering.  It forces a fairly intimate communication.  I was once giving a presentation on Slow Food at CSX and couldn't decide between a salad and a sandwich at lunch before.  My host was brave and asked if maybe we should split both.  So we tried to order.  What kind of meat? Cheese?  Spinach or lettuce?  Tomatoes?  Sweet or hot peppers? Onions? Dressing or oil and vinegar?  By the end of the whole series of decisions we strangers had to make together, I think we were both sorry we'd suggested it.  But then I brought it up in my presentation, talking about how food creates community, and how we'd struggled through, and it had created a bond that would never have been there otherwise.  I think it is an important discomfort to face.
• Eating communally also forces compromise.  I have wondered whether one of the causes of the American obesity epidemic is our emphasis on individual choice.  When I choose what I eat, I choose what I like best, and I eat it.  When someone else cooks, I'm not always in the mood for that choice, and so I eat less of it.  When I eat communally like this, I am cautious about eating too much, not wanting to take away from someone else.  I think I eat less (unless we seriously over-order!). 
• I don't even mind splitting a check.  I probably eat less than many people at the table, but I don't mind splitting a check evenly nevertheless.  One student from 2012 told me that she realized you aren't paying for your portion of the food, you are paying for the pleasure of sharing a meal with your friends, and she was happy to share equally in that.  I loved that sentiment and have kept it in mind ever since.

  I'm delighted that this group is so enthusiastic.  Today we did a cooking demo where three groups of students each made tiropitas, Greek salad, and one of three kinds of dip (eggplant salad, tzaziki, and tyrokafteri), then we all shared everything.  Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures--just enjoyed the experience live! Here are some other pictures of memorable group meals.

Group meal at a traditional taverna in our neighborhood.  Eating under fig trees with ripening figs!

First night at Ntavantouri, a Cretan restaurant in our neighborhood.

Santorini at Tsipouradiko

Potluck in the residence

Some very creative cooks!

Another potluck, with even more bounty.

a great mix of Greek fried cheese, American salsa, a doctored tzaziki recipe, fruit turnovers, tahini and jam sandwhiches...

The tail end of the meal at Taverna O Yannis:  the sunset restaurant at Loutraki